Damaged Goods: A Single Dad & Nanny Romance Read online

  Since graduating with my degree in child development, I’d been working my tail off to qualify for a loan to start the child care facility of my dreams. I grew up caring for children and loved it, but I grew tired of the mundane learning programs which hardly met the minimum requirements to keep a facility licensed, and most importantly, lacked the curriculum to keep children challenged or even engaged. While other facilities in the country were kicking ass, my town did a horrible job of encouraging centers to follow the same lead.

  I personally experienced a crap load of difficulty in school due to my own battle with dyslexia. It was the worst. I remember the shame I felt over the years, not to mention the huge blow to my confidence. I only learned later in life that the disorder had no connection to one’s intellect. While learning disorders are all unique, there are proven ways to help children gain the skills they need to deal with a disorder early on.

  “The bank’s loan officer told me that I didn’t have any business credit, but he said that if I could get a cosigner that could work. The only problem is I have no damn clue who that could be. Besides, I’m so deep in college bills, the only thing I can really focus on is finding a stable job until I can come back up for air. Anyway, enough about my boring life, tell me more about your date from hell.”

  “Well his favorite thing to talk about was his car,” Janie said, rolling her eyes. “His car, Emily. I couldn’t even pretend to be interested. After he exhausted his job, his car, his high school football record, and the fact that he won the third-grade spelling bee, he finally asked about me.”

  “What did he ask?” I took a sip of my drink.

  “I don’t even remember,” Janie said. “We were already pulling into my driveway by that point.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “God, I wish I was.” Janie rolled her eyes again and grabbed her beer off the table. She took a long swig and then set it back down with a shake of her head. “This was the worst date ever, Em. I’m telling you. It was just awful.”

  “God,” I said, sitting back and taking a sip of my drink. “Do you think all the good guys are taken?”

  “It’s this damn town,” Janie said. “Everyone here has known everyone else since the womb. We can’t find any new meat, literally!”

  I chuckled over her joke “I don’t think it needs to be new,” I said. “Just thoughtful. Sophisticated.”

  “Do you really think we’re going to find anyone sophisticated in Telluride?” Janie asked.

  “Probably not,” I admitted with a laugh. “I just wish something would change around here, you know?”

  “Oh!” Janie said suddenly, her eyes alive with excitement. “That reminds me! You know Margie, right?”

  “Margie Smith?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Janie nodded. “She works at the pizza place now, and she said a hot single dad came in on Thursday night.”

  Janie’s eyes were wide, and she looked at me with expectation. I blinked. So far, there wasn’t anything exciting about her news, but I waited for her to continue.

  “Margie asked her dad, who works for the real estate office that sold him the house, to do a little digging around,” Janie said. “Apparently, the guy’s wife died a little bit ago, and he decided to move his kids here for a fresh start. They’re young. Like seven and four or something.”

  I rolled my eyes. Margie’s dad was a worse gossip than the old ladies at the beauty shop.

  “He moved here for a fresh start?” I asked. “Why?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I think she said her dad found out they’re from San Diego. Maybe he just wanted to live the small-town life for a while.”

  “Well,” I said. “He’s probably sophisticated.”

  Janie laughed and I joined in. After a long week, it was nice to sit and talk mindlessly with my best friend. I’d known Janie since the first grade, and we’d been inseparable ever since. She was the one thing that made life in Telluride slightly exciting.

  “He is really hot, though,” Janie said wistfully.

  “How do you know?” I asked.

  “Margie snapped a picture on her phone.” Janie shrugged.

  “Seriously?” I laughed. “She needs to leave that poor man alone, especially if his wife just died.”

  “He didn’t notice,” Janie said, waving her hand. “It was fine. Besides, I’m telling you, he is insanely hot.”

  “I’m sure he is.” I rolled my eyes, but my interest was piqued.

  “One of us needs to get on that,” Janie said seriously. “I’ll flip you for it.”

  “Oh my God,” I said. “You’re insane.”

  “I’m serious, Emily.”

  “I know.” I laughed. “That’s what makes you insane.”

  “Come on,” Janie whined. “Please. Just play along.”

  “Whatever,” I said. “You go for it.”

  “Really?” She sat up in her chair, her eyes dancing with renewed excitement.

  I laughed. “Really. Besides, what do you think the likelihood of either of us actually meeting him is?”

  “In this town?” Janie asked. “One hundred percent.”

  “Fine,” I said, knowing she was right. “Then we’ll meet him, but then what? He’s a single dad. He won’t be interested in either of us.”

  “Why not?” Janie asked.

  “We’re young,” I said firmly.

  “Honey,” Janie said, her tone serious. “That will only make him want us more.”

  She winked and took a drink of her beer. Everything Janie did was suggestive and leading. She was always trying to push me to experience new things and new people. Though her definition of ‘experience’ was slightly crazier than mine. Growing up sheltered, you either turned out crazy and rebellious, or shy and awkward. I was the latter. Janie was the former.

  “Just keep your eye out,” Janie said. “If you see him, let me know.”

  “I will.” I laughed and shook my head.

  We spent the next hour chatting about the new man in town. Janie wondered aloud about his body. She felt sure he would be chiseled. I, on the other hand, contemplated all the reasons he would have for moving to our hole-in-the-wall town.

  His wife dying was sad, but it didn’t exactly warrant uprooting his kids from their home.

  “Look out,” Janie said suddenly diverting my attention, her eyes shifting to something behind me. “Tanner is on the move.”

  “Dear God,” I groaned. “Not this again.”

  “Hey, Emily,” Tanner said, stepping up beside our table.

  “Hi.” I smiled and turned my attention back to Janie, hoping Tanner would get the hint. He never did.

  “Mind if I join you?” he asked, already pulling up a chair.

  “Actually, tonight is kind of girls’ night,” I said, giving him a pointed look.

  “That’s okay.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind a little girl talk.”

  “God, get a clue,” Janie said under her breath.

  I shot her a look, but it didn’t matter. Tanner was too busy staring at me to notice anything Janie said.

  “How are you, Em’?” Tanner asked, his eyes boring into mine. “It’s been a while.”

  That wasn’t true, but I didn’t have the energy to point it out. Every time Tanner saw me around town, he would accost me with his presence. Whether I was drinking at Sal’s with Janie or walking through the square, Tanner would just appear at my side. He’d been doing it since high school, and as much as I wanted to ignore him, he made that impossible.

  “I’m fine,” I said with a sigh. “How are you?”

  “I’d be a lot better if you would let me take you out,” he said, scooting his chair closer to me. “We’ve been playing this little game for years now, Em’. Don’t you think it’s time we do something about it?”

  I looked at Janie who was openly glaring at Tanner. She glanced at me with wide eyes and then shook her head, silently telling me to get rid of him before she kicked his ass. If there wa
s anyone who could get under Janie’s skin, it was Tanner Gregory.

  “Listen,” I said softly. “Tanner, we’ve been friends for years, and you know I care about you.”

  Tanner’s smile was wide and bright. He looked so hopeful that it almost made me lose my resolve. All I had to do was remember his annoying persistence, and my resolve came flooding back, stronger than ever.

  “But,” I continued. “I just don’t see you that way. I’m sorry, Tanner.”

  “Emily Ward,” he sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “You could accept her answer and move the hell on,” Janie said, louder this time.

  Tanner glanced at her and then looked back at me. His eyes stared into mine, overwhelming me with their intensity. This was just one thing I hated about Tanner. He had a way of making me feel painted into a corner; like no matter what I did, he would find a way to get me.

  “You know we’re perfect for each other,” he said softly. “Absolutely perfect.”

  “Tanner,” I began but he cut me off with a look.

  “Don’t worry,” he said, smiling slyly. “I can wait a little longer.”

  With that, Tanner pushed away from the table and walked over to the bar. He leaned against it and flagged down the bartender. I shuddered and shook my head with disgust.

  “You really need to put that asshole in his place,” Janie said darkly.

  “He’s not an asshole,” I said. “He’s just—”

  “Desperate? Creepy? One step away from becoming a serial killer?”

  I laughed. “Stop it. Tanner is sweet in his own way. He just doesn’t know when to give up, that’s all.”

  “It’s been a decade,” Janie said bluntly. “A full decade and he still won’t leave you alone. He’s basically your stalker, Emily.”

  “He is not,” I said. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

  “Whatever,” Janie said, holding her hands up. “But don’t come crying to me when he shows up in your bedroom later tonight.”

  “Stop it,” I said again.

  Janie just laughed and glanced behind her. Tanner was still standing at the bar. When she looked back at me, her eyes were dark with concern.

  “You’re really worried about him, aren’t you?” I asked.

  “Can you blame me?” Janie asked. “It’s enough already.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “I wish he would give up too.”

  “Maybe one day,” Janie said. “After he has you kidnapped in his basement for twenty years.”

  “You’re not funny.” I glared at her.

  “Oh, you know I’m not serious.” Janie rolled her eyes and leaned over the table. “I know Tanner’s harmless, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to punch him in the nuts every single day.”

  “What if it were you he was hitting on?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

  “Then I would punch him in the nuts.”

  CHAPTER THREE- SEAN

  Five days into our new life in Colorado and I was already exhausted. Though I reminded myself that I had no time or desire to make friends here, my self-imposed isolation was beginning to close in around me. It was Monday morning, and I could barely get through breakfast without losing my mind. Tommy and Sarah were fighting at the table and neither would eat a bite of their food. With a sigh, I walked over to join them.

  “Enough,” I said firmly while Sarah continued to yell in Tommy’s ear. “Eat. Now.”

  “I’m not really hungry,” Tommy said.

  “It’s pancakes,” I said. “It’s the one thing I can actually cook. Come on, eat. Would you?”

  Tommy sighed and finally poured syrup over his pancakes. He dug in and ate slowly, quiet for the first time all morning. When I looked at Sarah though, she was glaring at her plate.

  “Sarah,” I said softly. “Come on.”

  “They smell like poop,” she said.

  “They do not,” I said. “That’s not nice. Just eat.”

  “No.” Sarah looked at me with the same challenging look I’d seen a hundred times since the move. She, more than her brother, hated leaving California. I knew it was the memories of Telissa she missed the most, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that. The more helpless I felt, the angrier I became.

  “Fine,” I said. “Don’t eat. Starve.”

  With that, I stood up and took her plate. I dumped her pancakes in the trashcan and put her plate in the sink. When I looked back at her, she was staring at me with her mouth wide open. I just stared back.

  If she wanted to challenge me, that was fine. I could challenge her right back. After all, a five-year-old couldn’t throw anything at me that I couldn’t handle.

  “He threw away my food!” she said to Tommy.

  Tommy shrugged and took another bite of his pancakes. Sarah stared at him and waited for him to speak. When he didn’t, she huffed and stormed upstairs to her room. Tommy giggled and turned to face me.

  “What are you going to do now?” he asked.

  “Wait until lunch,” I said. “I bet you anything she’ll eat without a complaint.”

  Tommy laughed again and nodded. I smiled and started doing the dishes. Sometimes, it felt impossible to go up against Sarah. She was so much like her mother, strong-willed and full of fire. I couldn’t look at her without seeing Telissa staring back at me. Most days, it was a comfort, but others, it was a real obstacle. Telissa was always great with the children. She knew how to handle the tantrums better than I ever did. I was always the busy career focused father. Admittedly, I put more time than I should have on my career. I was paying for those sins now. Inside, I knew it was a shortfall in my relationship with Telissa. She didn’t get the attention she deserved and sought it elsewhere. I was a damned fool not to see it coming. It was my fault.

  As the day drug on, the kids continued to fight nonstop. Sarah finally ate at lunchtime, but she decided to do so while kicking her brother’s chair under the table. By the time they were finished, Tommy was so angry he was almost in tears.

  He marched upstairs and threw Sarah’s favorite teddy bear out the window. The bloodcurdling scream she unleashed made me think she was dying. I flew upstairs, only to find her and Tommy standing in front of the open window, glaring at each other.

  I knew then that I wasn’t going to survive the summer without help. I had planned our move for the week after school let out. It was barely June now. I had three months left before I could ship the kids off to school and get a little peace and quiet. Just the idea of being locked in the house with them for three full months was enough to drive me insane.

  After I finally got them both calmed down, there was a knock on the front door. I groaned and hurried to answer it, hoping it wasn’t some nosey neighbor coming to try and drum up a conversation. I wasn’t in the mood. When I opened the door, I was almost relieved to see it was just Mrs. Johnston.

  “I brought you some brownies,” she said with a smile.

  Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t help but smile back. “Thank you. Please, come on in.”

  She stepped over the threshold and made her way back to the kitchen. Mrs. Johnston had already stopped by twice since we moved in, and each time, she brought over a different baked good. I was really starting to warm to her, as much as it wasn’t in my nature.

  “Kids!” I yelled. “Mrs. Johnston’s here!”

  Tommy and Sarah came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen. They each hugged Mrs. Johnston and quickly helped themselves to a brownie. It was amazing how quickly they could go from absolute terrors to perfectly behaved in a matter of minutes. I knew it was only because Mrs. Johnston was here, but I didn’t care. I welcomed the silence, either way.

  “Would you like one?” Mrs. Johnston asked, already pulling one out of the pan for me.

  “Thank you.” I said. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “Baking is my hobby.” She shrugged. “It keeps me young.”

  I nodded and ate my brownie in silence. Mrs. Johnston stood
in the kitchen with me, just watching over me and the kids. Ever since we met her, I got the sense that she needed a family to look after.

  “How are things going?” she asked, her eyes locked on my face.

  “Fine.” It was a lie, and she knew it. Her eyes narrowed, and she waited for me to correct my answer. I sighed and said, “I’m going insane. I’ve been thinking that I need to get some help in here, at least for the summer.”

  “That’s a good idea.” She nodded and glanced at the kids.

  “I don’t know,” I said, my voice rough. “Part of me thinks I should be able to handle it. They are my kids, after all.”

  “They are,” she said, nodding again. “But everyone needs help from time to time. There’s no shame in that.”

  Her words and her eyes were too understanding. I looked away, suddenly uncomfortable by how much I’d opened up to someone I’d only just met. One year of shutting myself away from the world could do that.

  “I know a girl,” she said. “Emily Ward. She lives in town, and she’s a darling with children. I could give you her number, if you’d like?”

  She looked around the house and then slowly back at me. She had a warm look on her face, but I could tell she had something brewing in her mind. “It would be nice to have a woman around the home – I mean for the children of course.”

  “Sure.” I shrugged, not quite sure what she meant. I didn’t want to seem too eager, but was secretly relieved at the prospect of getting some help with the kids.

  Mrs. Johnston smiled knowingly and grabbed the pad of paper from the kitchen counter. She scrawled Emily’s number on the top page and then turned back to me. She patted me on the shoulder and went to say goodbye to the kids. They both hugged her and thanked her for the brownies. She beamed at them and then left.

  I watched her disappear through the front door with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Mrs. Johnston was kind and generous, but she was already too comfortable around us. Since Telissa’s death I’d kept everyone at arm’s length, and I liked it that way. If no one got too close, then no one could hurt me or my kids again. It wasn’t a realistic plan, but it was one that had worked for me so far.